Our 2 Year Journey/ Answer to prayers

I've been obsessed with Liam sleeping (or the lack there of) for 2 years. I’ve read books, tried different techniques, prayed, and asked everyone for advice. I didn't feel like I was finding any real answers, and my anxiety over it wasn’t helping.
When Liam was about a year old we realized he had a tongue, and lip tie. I thought maybe he didn't sleep because he wasn’t nursing right due to the tongue tie. We saw an ENT that said we could get it clipped, or we could wait to see if he developed a speech problem. We saw another ENT who didn't even look in Liam's mouth, but told us it was fine. Treston and I decided we would wait, and discuss the surgery again if Liam developed a speech issue.
The lack of sleep, and picky eating was still a huge problem for me. I had started seeing a counselor who was helping me through my anxiety, and guilt and I was learning to relax some. (I had huge guilt over him having a dairy, and gluten intolerance which caused him to cry which only mad me angry. I didn't know what was wrong with him, and I couldn't stand to hear him cry. It made me worry about him because if I didn't we would miss something.) I learned that my worrying, and obsession didn't help anything.
My prayers went from make him sleep/ make him stop crying, to help me relax/ give me the wisdom to know what to do. I was trying to control everything, and it showed even through my prayers. My sweet husband asked me one day if I thought I controlled anything. I answered no, but in my head I really thought yes. This was a life changing moment for me! It seemed as if every where I turned God was showing me that I had no control. Instead of anxiety I felt peace. I read this verse that changed my prayer life Philipians 4:6  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Since I still had moments of panic, anxiety, guilt, and worry I would thank God for what he was doing even though I had no clue what it was.
March was one of the hardest months of my life. I was three months pregnant with baby #2 (found out I had a bleed that would hopefully fix itself), had horrible all day morning sickness, Treston had to travel to China for a whole week (in 7 years we had only been apart for 3 days at the most, and since having Liam Treston had only been away for 1 night), I got super sick the day after Treston left, and that night Liam had the highest fever he had ever had. We survived the week thanks to my mom, Treston's parents, and encouraging friends. Treston came home sick, and Liam was still not sleeping well. My all day sickness had turned into night time only so we all dreaded the nights. With all of the craziness we ended up putting Liam in bed with so he would at least get some sleep. We always said we wouldn't let Liam sleep in our bed, but our new motto was, “You do what you can to survive”. The problem was I felt like I wasn’t surviving. I was angry, tired, sick, and hormonal. Treston was coughing all night, and Liam had turned into a snoring old man. I also realized that Liam would stop breathing while he was sleeping which kept making him wake up.

We had an appointment scheduled with an ENT to have Liam’s tongue tie assessed one more time. We had met with a Speech Pathologist that wanted her ent’s opinion before we (possibly) started therapy. We weren’t worried about his speech, but he was choking on water and gagging on foods. A few weeks before the ENT we made a trip to the pediatrician. I thought Liam was fine, but Treston thought he was sick. Of course he had his first ear infection, and tonsillitis. I’m learning that it’s ok for me to not catch these things, and that Treston will if I don’t. We make a great team! The pediatrician suggested that we ask the ENT to asses Liam’s tonsils while he checked the tongue tie.

On April 29^th we meet with our new ENT. He is amazing, confident, thorough, and encouraging. We discussed ALL of the symptoms/issues Liam was having. He said that the tongue is fine, and there isn’t even enough skin to clip. We were so glad to have a confident and final answer. He then checked out the tonsils (Treston saw too, and was amazed at how large they were), and was confident that Liam needed his tonsils/adenoids removed. I was surprised, but mostly relieved! Dr. E reassured us that it was necessary, and would improve many of the issues we had been dealing with.

June 20^th our sweet boy will have his surgery. It is an answer to a prayer that has been voiced for years. It was answered in a way that I didn’t expect, but I know it has been God’s plan all along. There were times when I felt alone, and that God had forgotten me or didn’t care. I now see so many parts of the plan that got us to here. We don’t always see the end plan, and it is so easy to lose faith/hope. I did at time, but God continued to get us to where we needed to be. I try to remember that as I get anxious about the surgery. I know that God is in control, and will get us through it.

Thanks for staying around until the end. I know it’s long, but I hope you feel encouraged. This parenting thing is hard, and we all struggle. I’ll continue to pray, and I hope you do the same. He loves us, and listens! 

Update: The surgery went well, and Liam is already sleeping better. It was an emotional day, but the staff at Texas Children's Hospital was amazing. Liam's throat is still healing, but he is doing great!